Are you weird ?
Yes. So is the horse I rode in on (thanks,
George).
Are you crazy for doing this ?
Yes. But it's all for a good cause. Documenting our
nation's topographical heritage for posterity is one of my greatest
contributions to humanity. That, and not procreating (yet).
Don't you have anything better to do ?
Yes. I should be studying for my Ph.D. exams, but graduate
students generally are lazy and relish opportunities to take on new adventures
unrelated to their field (in my case, chaos engineering). Please don't tell my
advisor I've been out hiking.
Are benchmarks hard to photograph ?
Yes. Okay, so usually they are anchored in concrete
anchored in solid rock. They certainly don't run away. Finding them is
another question. But I tend to get very emotional when I confront an object
of such beauty that it's hard to hold the camera still. In theory, though, it
doesn't take much talent (which is why I've flubbed it up only a few times).
How did you get the idea to do this ?
Yes. This is a long story. In 1994 December I was talking
with my roommate. I think we were discussing haiku. Why ? That's
a good question. Anyway, I had this rare flash of brilliance, call it
benchmark Zen, when I realized that a wonderful book opportunity awaited in the
form of a photographic compendium of all the benchmarks in the GSMNP. I would
strike it rich from the royalties ! My original concept was to publish a
book. Each benchmark would be centered on a separate page, and four other
photographs, one in each compass direction (north, south, east and west) as
seen from the benchmark would surround the center photograph. At the bottom of
each page would be a haiku expressing my emotional state during the
specific photographic excursion. Pure genius !
Does the National Park Service know you're doing this ?
Hopefully not.
Do you think the National Park Service would mind if they found out ?
Maybe. I rather think any Rangers who found out would just
ask me why I was doing this, though. I'm not sure about the opinions of
higher-level administrators.
Where will the proceeds from your book go ?
To the Park, of course.
Will there ever be any proceeds from your book ?
Probably not. But you may send me money for the privilege
and pleasure of viewing this e-book. Please don't tell the University I said
this. OK, OK, I'll waive the fee if you won't tell.
Do people really ask these questions (frequently), or
did you just make them up ?
Do the voices in my head count as people ?